©GODLIS

Department store.

Fitting room.

Customer: Berlant, stands center down stage on a fitting box. Behind him, right, is a dolly rack with suits that Vince has chosen for him to try on. Behind him left is a table with shirts. 

Berlant stares into the mirror before him (there is no real mirror).  He adjusts the suit.  He tries to convince himself that it fits. 

Moments later, Vince, the salesman, enters with a box of laced oxfords. He is efficient.  He has an unconscious clock that times each sale. 

                                            BERLANT

                I don't know.

                                            VINCE

                You don't know...?

                                            BERLANT

                I don't know.

   

                                            VINCE

                What don't you know?

                                            BERLANT

                ...I don't know.

                                            VINCE

                Hold on.

                                Vince shoes him the shoes.

                                            VINCE (CONT'D)

                Hand crafted in England.  Look at the

                welts.  Look at the toe.  You know a

                good shoe by its toe.

                                            BERLANT

                The toe?

       

                                            VINCE

                Always the toe.

                                            BERLANT

                How's that?

                                            VINCE

                You're pants cover most of the shoe,

                but the toe is always there to see.

                        Berlant looks down and inspects his shoe toes.

                                            VINCE (CONT'D)

                Try these on.

   

                                            BERLANT

                How much are they?

                                            VINCE

                How much?

                                            BERLANT

                I'm just asking.

                                            VINCE

                Twelve hundred.

                                            BERLANT

                Twelve?

                                            VINCE

                That's not much.

                                            BERLANT

                I didn't say it was.

                                            VINCE

                Then try them on.

                                            BERLANT

                I like my shoes.

                                            VINCE

                Let me risk saying this. Shoes that look like

                you’ve pounded the payment makes people think    

                you can’t afford carfare. Doesn’t matter you can.

                Understand?

 

                                                Pause

                                            BERLANT

                Let me see them.

                           

                                            VINCE

                Here.

                                            BERLANT

                ...Black?

                                            VINCE

                Black is black.

       

                                            BERLANT

                I like brown.

                                            VINCE

                We've got them in three shades of brown

                and a cordovan.  You tell me.

                                            BERLANT

                Let me try them on.

Vince slips out his shoe horn and helps Berlant with the new shoes.

                                            BERLANT (CONT'D)

                            (impressed)

                  Nice.

           

                                            VINCE

                Would I lead you astray?

                                            BERLANT

                Let me try on that suit.

                                            VINCE

                ...I don't know if I should.

                                            BERLANT

                Why?

                                            VINCE

                You’ll love it. I only got two left in your size. 

                                            BERLANT

                Only two?

                                            VINCE

                One's a solid.  One's a stripe.

                (shows him one of the suits)

                                            BERLANT

                Which one's better?

                                            VINCE

                Better?

                                            BERLANT

                For me?

                                            VINCE

                I would say both. Solid for any day.          

                Stripe every other day.

       

                                            BERLANT

                How much?

                                            VINCE

                                     (shows Berlant)

                They're hand tailored.

                                            BERLANT

                I know that.  How much?